feeding things

Sunflower Seed Kaleidoscope

Image by Tobyotter via Flickr

Why are the birds at my feeder giving me attitude about the milo, millet, cracked seed with oil sunflower seed food, squawking that they will only eat plain oil sunflower seed?  Picky, picky, juvenile. ungrateful little peckers. Sure, I’ll get out the ladder in the freezing cold and go change it–which I did.

Chico, the cat, is never satisfied. How can it be that after so many years together, his humans cannot understand his hearty appetites and food preferences. Why must he always settle for such mundane fare as cat food?  He knows that I know he enjoys cantaloupe served diced on a plate at the table, so what’s up with this dry crap in the cracked bowl on the floor?

Last week, after our usual morning argument about breakfast, I left the kitchen in a huff saying sorry, Chico, this is not a restaurant, and that is what I am serving today. He followed me into the living room, and as I bent over to put my shoes on, he head butted me in the butt. Lucky for him he is the most amazing, adorable and hysterical cat in the world.

Luna, the other cat, will only drink out of the bathroom sink. A trip to the toilet is never a solitary experience. If you’ve not tripped over her as she comes careening out of nowhere to leap onto the sink from the toilet bowl, you must then negotiate the faucet flow, your own flow and the toilet paper roll, all simultaneously as she tends to her hydration.

My daughter scoffs at the most important meal of the day and today, I watched as my dear husband tried to mix his whey protein powder into his bowl of oatmeal–trying to kill two dietary imperatives with one spoon. Why must this all be so difficult?

                                       

Meanwhile, the fire belly newt, Everest, that we have had for nine years is without complaint, happily chowing down on his Freshwater Flakes from the first and only 2.2 ounce container that we ever bought. I am trying to read from the label but some of it has already faded. It contains a natural something or other formula, and is made ONLY with Fresh Seafood.  Seriously, he is only 2/3 through this small canister–in nine years! The price sticker is still on it. The bottle cost $5.89.    Every few days I say, oh, the newt and sprinkle a few flakes into his grungy tank. Don’t misread this. He and I have a very special bond. Today as a treat, i gave him a couple of Newt and Salamander Bites. My he loves those. That 1.2 oz container is only half empty and says on the label–soft sinking pellet diet.

There is just so much meowing, barking, whining, chirping  oinking, mooing, hissing and howling going on these days about all this food and eating stuff. Can’t all species just get over it and agree to this simple amphibian flake and pellet diet?

Ah, well. Time to go make myself some lunch.

Please comment if you love Chico, or any other finicky mammal.

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9 thoughts on “feeding things

  1. So, Everest has consumed a total of 2 ounces of food in nine years? What, does he photosynthesize? BTW, I’ve always wanted to do that — not just for the chlorophyll high but also for the sheer joy of “eating” while not actually moving anything. No teeth, tongue, swallow, macerate, filter and expunge involved. Just glow. I have spoken.

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    • you are absolutely right. barely any expunging. i did actually take a book out once on newt nutrition. i don’t think it had a cutesy name like feeding your newt. however, it was way more complicated than anything i ever read on human nutrition. it was quite intimidating and i returned it promptly and resumed feeding flakes and pellets.
      for my dear everest who has been held captive in this tank for almost a decade…may i only hope i have spared him a lot of unnecessary effort and maybe his life, and that droppings of food are the newt-onian hedonistic equivalent of having one’s grapes peeled and placed directly on the tongue.

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  2. I AM the Alpha cat in my family, I continually assure myself, but the Beta cat, the wiry and clever one, tries my patience. She’ll eat the Iams alright, but just try to open any kind of can and she comes thundering into the kitchen, still thinking all cans contain tuna fish. I have to show her the olives or what-have-you before she’ll believe it’s not the sacred tuna for her to savor a bit of. And the other cat – the Theta or sometimes Zeta cat, the never complaining, totally spacey, slightly dumb, very fat cat will eat anything – though she’s the hunter and prefers the real thing. I’ll feed the little beasts, but I’d be real happy if the Beta cat would cease her wintertime habit of defecating right next to the box if her sister has been anywhere near it as opposed to the outdoors in warm weather. Picky, picky, yes. Perhaps I will feed her the amphibian pellets only and she’ll get the idea. Oh well, I have my character deficits, too. And we will all grow old together. One day, I’ll probably defecate near and not in the toilet myself. Such is the way of things.

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  3. Omigosh – I’m just sitting here laughing and laughing! I love the idea of photosynthesizing, sounds much simpler than cooking for everyone’s respective tastes 😉 And who couldn’t use a little “glow” in their life?

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    • given the story on human evolution, i am always amazed that we have to eat and think about food as frequently as we do. given frozen tundra and arid deserts, limited transportation networks, etc. one might think we could have increased our ability to store glucose in both brain and body. but no, instead we had to go kill a gazelle and risk eating some suspicious plant life rather frequently in the name of survival.

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  4. if only my turtle food would last that long. The problem is that my dog, Kuma, gets hold of it now and then. runs outside and devours the whole thing. Have to wonder why he considers this to be a treat. Turtle food??/ what is it.. dried insects and rotted weeds??

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