touched by the tempted temperament

Andreas Stech Stilleben mit Eichhörchen

Last week, I wrote about The Tempted Temperament.  I then had a related experience I just want to follow-up with.

A sweet, 8-year-old girl came to see me along with her mom.  She was a beautiful child with long, dark black hair and piercing eyes that carried the wisdom of her ancients.  She was rather quiet.  And, yes.  She was overweight and has already endured  bullying by other children.

The mom, a tall, slender woman told part of her child’s story. Though they were originally from around here, they had been back in the area for a year after living near San Antonio, Texas.  I did not get a lot of the family’s history during this consult, partly due to the fact that not all needs to be disclosed in front of a child, but it was not difficult to glean that there were problems.

I learned that this child is the youngest of four children.  Her oldest sister who is nineteen has a more full-bodied figure. The mom, is a loving parent and provides generally well prepared foods and has nicely established boundaries on fast food and the watching of television.  The child has no health problems.  I did not, as I would write in my progress note, assess any significant dietary indiscretions.

The mom’s concern is that her daughter is not inclined to want to go out and play much and resists her mom’s offers to go exercise with her.  They live in a cramped house in a difficult neighborhood.  This is not an environment for the outdoor spontaneous combustion of calories that should be the birthright of all our children.  I learned that the girl enjoys eating and adores musicals, swimming and doing artwork.  I knew I was in the company of a pleasant phlegmatic.

Together we discussed community resources, walking to school, school lunches and simple options for play. We tangentially addressed the preservation of her self-esteem which her mom already had a good handle on.   I then looked into the deep eyes of this young soul, deciding what to offer her that would be respectful of who she is.  As always, and as I hope I am conveying in my stories, there is a deep responsibility in this task of balancing the societal scales, to honor the individual and the circumstances of their lives.  And, I usually only have a few minutes to do so.

I looked around the meager library, medicine cabinet and market basket that metaphorically describes my office and though I wished I had something more rich, I handed her a calendar book that comes with two types of stickers.  One sticker is of a fun pair of sneakers, the other of a fork, knife and spoon in a happy face kind of configuration.  It’s designed to encourage the child to keep note of, hopefully joyfully, their healthy choices.  Kids generally like it because they tend to love stickers.

The child’s face lit up.  After having been rather reserved throughout the meeting, she perked up and said, “I know what I can do with this.”  I asked her what that was.  She replied, that instead of using the stickers, if she ate a healthy food or played something, she would draw a picture of that instead.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  The world will be a more beautiful place graced by the gifts of an artist.

As always, thoughts, feelings and reactions, deeply welcomed in comments.

Also, big news this week.  I am now on Twitter at  You can follow me there and share my stories.

In health, Elyn

my plate Haiku:

Peach baskets brimming

Raspberries ripe on the bush

Apples soon to come.   By Crystal

One thought on “touched by the tempted temperament

  1. Lovely to be reminded of the temperaments. When we get a handle on them, they are so ripe and juicy…. like a perfect peach. You are healing body, mind and soul when you meet these people with so much compassion and understanding. I love to hear about it. Have a blessed day!

    Pouring, overflowing
    send some to Texas or Somalia
    too much, too little


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